“When you’re lost,
You can look,
And you will find it.
Time after time” – Cyndi Lauper
Life is going very well for me.
Or is it?
No. No, it is not.
I am reminded of an English proverb: A stitch in time saves nine. But I don’t need stitches, I am not Shawn Mendes. I do, however, require a maid or a housekeeper who is willing to work for free (or for TV series downloads).
My house is a mess. How I have survived for the last couple of weeks here is a mystery. Momma didn’t raise no slob. Being a slob is so much fun though…
But since Momma did her job well, here we are. It’s 2 am and the house reeks of bleach, some of which splashed on my dark indoor slippers so now, I have artistic slippers. It’s surprising how much I can do when I actually try. I don’t think this house has ever been so clean (apart from when I first moved in).
Not only that, I’m actually taking the time to write again. Wonders!
There’s one thing I haven’t done though. I hate (HATE!) folding clothes. And this is why I have a mountain of laundry sitting in a corner somewhere in my room and why I dost requirest a housekeeper. (Who works for free – repetition is a stylistic device that depicts emphasis).
I suppose I could find a wife. That will solve that problem. Although, wives weren’t free the last time I checked. You have to pay them in love, attention and affection and all that stuff nobody has time for. I mean, you’re asking for attention whilst I’m watching Game of Thrones? I’m sorry but I’m not about that life.
Fun fact: Using words like Whilst makes you feel smarter.
And then there’s dowry… For shame!
Did you know, that as a man, sitting down and thinking that one day someone will want a wedding and you will have to pay for it is very depressing?
How depressing, you ask?
As depressing as S07E06 of Game of Thrones. I mean, a dragon died! #RIPViserion
It’s 2:20 AM. I should really go to bed.
It’s 3:18 AM. Penguins are racist.
Approximately 1 in 50,000 (of most species) are born with brown rather than black plumage. These are called isabelline penguins. Isabellinism is different from albinism. Isabelline penguins tend to live shorter lives than normal penguins, as they are not well-camouflaged against the deep, and are often passed over as mates.
I should really go to bed.