Television 

Remember when I told you I had a couple of stories in my draft folder? Well… I was lying. There’s nothing in my drafts but the promise of a cool wind blowing through a dry riverbed. The promise of a cold glass of water after working on a farm in the afternoon. The promise of peeing when you’ve had to hold it in for hours. Basically, empty promises.

I blame TV.

TV is evil. A hotbed of lost time and opportunities.

For the past month and a half, I have been binge-watching several series. (Not just Downton Abbey – although it is a nice series. You should watch it). This apparently had austere effects on my brain and my ability to write. Not Downton Abbey, the binge-watching thing. Keep up, please.

Now I’m struggling to get back on this writing horse, because blogging is apparently a rodeo. One day you’re riding effortlessly and the next you get thrown off the horse and you have to run after it on a different horse and catch it with a rope. All while hoping you don’t die.

Blogging is extreme.

Extreme like falling several meters (or feet -depending on where you’re reading this from) into dense Amazon jungle, finding a lost city made entirely of gold and getting shot in the shoulder by a pissed off Frenchman. Then playing Bungoma Hangman with said Frenchman and crashing a chopper into the side of a cliff. Exactly like episode 1 of Hooten and the Lady.

Blogging is scary too.

Like being a priest in a sleepy town and one of your parishioners asks you to make a home visit because she thinks her daughter is possessed by a demon. Then you make your way to the parishioner’s house and find out that it’s actually the “good” daughter that has the demon problem. She’s creepy as hell. (Ha! Unexpected pun!) But she’s great at pest control coz she kills rats and stuff. Actually, it’s not that scary. I don’t know if The Exorcist is your kind of show – you might enjoy it if you’re into Sleepy Hollow and such nonsense – but it isn’t for me. I predict cancellation. I’d rather just watch the movie.

Speaking of the wild west, there’s a show from HBO called WestWorld. It’s technically Zorro meets The Hunger Games. Where Zorro is an evil old man looking for a new level in a game and the muts in the Hunger Games are human constructs with no real emotions, meant to be used for whatever. This isn’t a very accurate description, by the way. I’m watching the second episode right now. Still not sure what this show is about, but Anthony Hopkins is here so… That means it’s good, right?


There’s another new series called Pitch. That is watchable. Thumbs up from me.
Also, Grey’s Anatomy is back and I’m still watching after 13 seasons. I might have attachment issues. I should see someone about that.

I’m way behind on my Gotham. I hear Fish is back.

I have 20 other shows to watch because I just have to. Today’s supper is, therefore, a jar of peanut butter. Because if I decide to cook, I’ll lose the 40 minutes I had planned to see Black-ish and Modern Family. Peanut butter is fundamentally made from peanuts which are full of protein. Nutritionally speaking, it’s just like having steak for dinner, right?

Right?

This is a sad existence.

Did I mention that I also have 3000 books to read? That number is NOT an exaggeration. I really do have 3000 books to read.

*Sigh.

TV is evil.

Switch it off if you can.

That’s what I’m doing right now. I’m going on a TV cleanse.

Right after this episode.

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