Patience

Back in 2010, which I cannot believe was 10 years ago, I was in the first year of my university studies. There I was all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed ready to take the Computer Science world by storm. It was a simpler time – I didn’t have a smartphone, there was no Instagram to waste my time on, the music was really good, Sheng was still understandable.

Speaking of music, there’s a song I learnt about in 2010 that I loved (still do). It’s Patience by Take That. I still belt out the tune once in a while, usually scaring whoever is closest to me at the time. It’s a lovely song and I was singing it yesterday when I didn’t know what to write about for this week.

I'm on the fence

My wife says that I’m a very patient person although I beg to differ. In my own estimation of myself, I am far from it. See, there are lots of things that I want to do or desire to acquire the skills for but I do not because: a) I’m kind of lazy – don’t tell anyone about that; b) It just takes too long to learn stuff.

Did I ever tell you guys that I wanted to be a doctor when I was a wee lad? I read every medical book I could find (and my parents had a lot of them just lying around, surprisingly). The medical world is intriguing. Recently, I made a new friend (which is really hard to do as an adult btw) who is a doctor. He has interesting things to say. I watch all sorts of medical dramas and I am subscribed to several doctors on YouTube.

The thing is, I also learnt that it takes a super long time to actually become a doctor and that sucks. I don’t mind reading and doing things practically, but exams are just the worst. Someone will read this and say, “Oh that’s maybe because you tense up during exams, Mark.” Or something like, “Haha. Kwani ulikuwa danda time ya exam?”

The answer to both questions is no.

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Exams are the worst because they are boring. I will have you know that I have always been a straight-A student (except for that time in form three when I didn’t study at all because I wanted to see what would happen. I dropped from #3 to #25 which shocked me to my core. And yes, it was the same time I was writing that book).

My dreams of becoming a doctor died and I got another dream. The dream to become a chef, own my own restaurant. A chain of them. But that dream was killed when I told my parents that I had chosen Public Relations and Hospitality Management as a course in school.

“PR?” Mum said. “You? But you don’t like people!”

Me, knowing (or lying to myself) that in fact, I am a people person, “That’s why I chose it. To develop that skill.”

“Ai. Apana. You’re good with machines. Enda ubadilishe. Choose Computer Science.”

Not having the strength to argue, “Fine.”

I see how it is

So we’re back at where this story began, in 2010, learning how to download everything. I am very very good at that. I like to say that I did Computer Science and Procurement. In my procuring, I came across a lot of interesting things. There was a time everyone was a DJ and who was I to be left out? I installed VirtualDJ and made 3 mixes which I uploaded to Mixcrate. Mixcrate has since been shut down so you will never get to listen to those. I got bored though and stopped. A few of my friends did not and now they’re really successful in that field. One of them DJed my wedding. (He’s really expensive)

Then another time I started a hustle of writing articles online. I was doing great and even introduced another of my friends to the job. It was exciting making money but one time I lost $115 and it still pains me to this day. I also failed a statistics class. My friend did not fail his classes and now has lackeys working for him (he’s a rich dude now). Good for him. Me, I wasn’t patient enough.

Then another time I got into graphic design but I gave that up. You might have seen some of them on my Instagram.

Yet another time I downloaded I procured a copy of Fruity Loops thinking that I would be the next Timbaland or something. I tried my best to make a beat. It didn’t happen (coz I gave up on it) but guess what did? My younger brothers picked it up and now, with no musical training at all, call themselves producers. Imagine that? How dare they. (I’m really proud of them though).

More recently, I wanted to give up on this blog. I started it for me, to document my life and later laugh at myself but you guys started reading. Most of you encouraged me to write some more and some of you don’t even comment. I mean, what’s up with that? Anyway, I decided not to give up on this. Not because I think I’m any good but because I need to stick with something. Grow it. See what happens. For me. And I thank you guys for reading.

Also, I apologize for rambling. I’ve been trying really hard to get something, anything, on paper (writer’s block manenos) and the most consistent advice you get when that happens, is to write. Which sounds like the dumbest thing in the world. Don’t they get it? Don’t they know how you feel? You can’t write at the moment. How am I supposed to write when I can’t write?

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Anyway, dawa ya moto ni moto. I guess.

Side note: Although I am proud of my brothers for mastering Fruity Loops, I’m still kind of mad at them. When they start making money off it I’m coming for equity.

10 Replies to “Patience”

  1. “I didn’t have a smartphone, there was no Instagram to waste my time on, the music was really good, Sheng was still understandable.’ ..*sigh……this hit differently

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  2. Please don’t quit. I haven’t been reading you very long and so far I like it. I’m the type who sticks with things so if you quit I’ll have quit, but only because you made me quit.
    Also, I mostly don’t comment, maybe it’s an introvert thing, but I’ll make an effort.

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